That baby smell and other creepy children's things

Have you ever noticed that the baby child industry seems to have a knack for producing some pretty creepy stuff. I'm not talking about intentionally creepy stuff like doll heads as candleholders, but products aimed at kids (and their parents) that are supposed to be wholesome, useful and make everything better. Well, I guess they aren't all supposed to be wholesome, like if we needed any further signs that the apocalypse may just be upon us, there is now a pole dancer doll. Maybe this is where you go after high heels for infants?

Two things got me going here. The first thing is the scented additive that gives certain brands of diaper their distinctive odour. Although I am sure that each brand of diaper has their own unique chemically engineered smell, they all stink the same way. Apparently, the smell is to mask the "contribution" to each diaper provided by your little one. Suddenly the smell of stool ain't so bad when mixed with a dash of potpourri? I think I would be a little less suspicious of these ever pervasive scents, were it not for the fact that baby beads, baby dolls, and baby t-shirt stickers (among others) are all available in scented format. Could scented markers and scratch and sniff really be any good for you? Surely no worse than sniffing glue.

I do my best to avoid conspiracy theories, but it can't be called a conspiracy when something is chemically engineered to seduce... ahem, "inspire the senses" in children. And I haven't even mentioned the fact that the good folks at Johnson's (formerly Johnson and Johnson, did they merge with another Johnson?) now offer baby cologne. If you don't see anything wrong with this, feel free to click here for another opinion on why this may not be such a good idea.

But this brings me to the second thing: advertising. I was reminded of the world of children's advertising by this gallery of creepy ads from the 50's. Like bean boy here.

But the humour in theses ads belies the rather more serious issue of advertising targeted at children. You see, if you visit the Nation's capital (Ottawa) we can hang out, but you will have to cross the river into Quebec to where I live. Among the many great things about living in Quebec is the fact that advertising to children under 13 years of age is prohibited under the province's Consumer Protection Act. I think most of us would agree this is a good thing but unfortunately this isn't the case elsewhere in Canada. Do we really prefer to live in a world with marketing and advertising aimed at kids? Kidding aside, this actually is creepy. I accept the fact that -- over time -- I will have to allow my son to make decisions for himself, and that it is my role as a parent to enable this. Still, it's one thing to market towards adults, we have the capacity to make informed decisions and think critically about how information is sold (or even choose not to). But shouldn't kids be free from persuasive commercial arguments and images for a least a little while? There will be plenty of time for them to appreciate the joys of our consumer culture, but it can wait.

Or maybe you don't care to coddle your children well past adolescence. Maybe cradling isn't your thing at all. If this is you, don't worry there is always the Zaky infant pillow to stand in, "its like leaving part of you with your baby". Nothing creepy about that.